"So you see, it's becoming a crime to be stupid. It used to be an excuse, but in this day of mass media, everyone is supposed to be informed. Thus, not to have a great intellect and not be plugged in is now being considered negligent. People are losing the right to be stupid."
      "Surely you're not calling couch potatoes the vogue."
      "Perhaps not the vogue, but definitely the moral reflection of the ideal citizen in the present state. You sit at home, break no laws while you're watching TV, at least those that would be enforced. You are calm, using your senses, staying cognitive, being reinforced into the economy.
      You are shown the ideal life, given a little adventure to settle your restlessness, enjoying products that make TV watching easier to do."
      "Keeps traffic off the streets to a manageable level, keeps the masses settled, sterile."
      "But informed. Don't forget that. Keeps it running at an easy throttle, but on one that is focused. I think that is what it's designed to do, create a focus, and that is where today's values lie. It's the ability to focus the mind, and to not do that is becoming a crime. To lack focus is to be stupid. To be stupid is the kiss of death. You may as well be behind bars."
      "Competition is fierce these days. Define cool, define the cutting edge, everything is being pushed to extremes."
      "Exactly, and that means that stupidity is becoming a grosser offense all the time. Look at the money spent to see that people aren't stupid anymore, and if you slip through the cracks of the money being made off all the people being educated, you are resisting their efforts. A person simply may not choose the right to be stupid these days, not with all the time and money the nation is spending on it. It could soon come a time that a person not found passing their IQ test would become a trustee of the state, unfit for coexisting with people of normal intelligence."
      "Incarcerated for being a bore?"
      "The reaction is already ingrained in our society because of its size. Nobody can find enough concern f or that many people. It has to be shut off somewhere. It wouldn't be that big a step to reporting people 'that need help'. Can't you hear it? 'The poor thing was too stupid for her own good. Something had to be done.t Look at all the red tape designed specifically to give stupid people a hard time. Do something stupid, you're in serious
      trouble. It's already here. It's just a matter of streamlining the effort. Why tie up jobs when they could be working on the problem more directly? All they'd need is a campaign. You know how quickly they can put those on."
      "Send us your poor, your wretched, but not your stupid."
      "There is no law that says that you can not discriminate against intelligence or a lack thereof. That is our one inalienable right. They will never take that away. You can always claim that someone was too stupid to do the job, and no one could or would fault you. And look at the people in jail. The most common honest answer that you would get from them is 'I did something stupid.' Now some are genuinely mean, but most were just stupid. They knew better and did it anyway. They were being stupid, and they were arrested for it. It won't be long before stupid people are just rounded up first, if they are predictably stupid, to make it easier."
      "So what is the counter, Stupid Rights groups? They'd never get any lobbying done. Who speaks for the stupid?"
      "Well, it would have to be concerned intelligent people that found a reason beyond an individual basis to keep stupid people around. Mothers of Stupid People, perhaps. The Stupid Students League in school, with a national organization overseeing chapters."
      "What an honor. I can see the commercial. 'My little brother was so stupid until he joined the SSA. Now anybody that mouths off at him gets a law suit slapped on them. Now even I can't call him names anymore.' 'Come on, admit it. You're not doing well in school, and you're hearing about it from everyone. Would you like to shut them up? Now you have a way. Pay attention, and we'll tell you how.'"
      "I think that most of the focus would be in the courts, eventually to the top. Big fight in the media, but most people wouldn't have a say over
      it. Most controversial issues get pushed through by a few people. I see camps set up all over, fights over property values in the neighborhood, big salaries for the directors that hire them out at sub-minimum wages that they keep for room and board. There'd eventually be some kind of distinguishing and obvious mark placed on them, along with homing emitters under the skin.
      "I mean, look at it. Economically, welfare for people too stupid to hold a job is crushing our tax base. Something is going to have to give. It's the logical way to get our homeless off the streets. I'm not saying it's that way for everyone, but it's a solution that will occur to someone and catch on. Look, we are growing more and more toward an economic caste system in this country. Our lifestyle is based on the automobile. Automobiles are becoming more and more costly to run and maintain. Higher taxes, higher insurance rates, now mandatory in many places, high fuel cost, more expensive to maintain and repair, deductible warranties when there used to be no deduction. All of this on top of a price tag that fewer and fewer are able to afford.
      "It's the rich telling the poor that the streets are too crowded, and that they want you off the streets so that it's easier for them to drive. Everything is prestige and proper lifestyle, and if you can't maintain an appropriate lifestyle, then you are stupid. And if you are stupid, then you are in the way. This country is ripe for the movement.
      "Of course, the camps would have nice names, like education centers or training institutes, in the same vein as rehabilitation centers and correctional institutes. They'd be separate, of course, from our prisons, since you don't want the very stupid tainting the moderately stupid. And who they put in is decided by how the test is set up.
      "The test would have a certain reflection of manners and morals,
      economics and current events, all based on what the TV offers. Most people that go to work, come home, and watch TV would pass. The consumers should not be removed from circulation. The rich would suffer if that happened. Bad for business. The poor, the parasites, the homeless, and the burdening would be put away where they wouldn't be seen except at assigned labors."
      "Do you really think that such a law could be passed?"
      "I am certain that its time is coming. It would curb the problem of growing immigration and population growth. Naturally all interned would be sterilized, since stupid people can't seem to limit birth on their own. I tell you that the attitude in this country is ripe for this. Just look around you. People are growing less and less tolerant toward stupidity."
      "So how could it be counteracted? Start a kiss a stupid person today campaign? Buttons that say, 'Kiss me, I'm stupid'?"
      "Not bad, considering the prank where people put a sign on other people's backs that say 'Kick me, I'm stupid.' Clever idea. Although it might be even better still if there was fine print underneath it that said, 'and still alive'. But stupid people would never wear them. Stupid people don't like admitting that they are stupid. Society makes them resent being stupid. Can you think of a more biting insult than to be called stupid? Or a more popular one? 'Don't be stupid!' or 'You stupid slug!' And think of how embarrassed we are when someone we know is acting stupid. Stupid by association. A person doesn't belong to a click being stupid. You click, or you're stupid. Put the stupid away and the world would click. You'd be surprised at how many people would welcome the chance to do that."
      "And you think that our society is moving further in this direction?"
      "Oh, yes. The peer pressure not to be stupid is horrendous, and it's definitely growing. Most people feel that there is too much annoyance in
      this world from stupid people. They didn't fix something right, or they broke something, or they ruined an event, or cost money, or distracted a good time or thought. Stupidity takes us out of ourselves, diverting our intelligence to where it does not want to go. We are losing our patience in this world of instant gratification, and the first place we lose it is with stupidity. Stupidity robs us of the life we wish to live, and pursuit of happiness is our most treasured right as consumers. That which interferes with the pursuit of happiness of the powerful becomes a crime."
      "Innocent until proven stupid. 'How do you plead?' 'Ignorance is bliss, your honor, and I am blistered."'
      "That will be pretty much the case."
      "And these camps will be run by the intelligent, people that don't know what it is to be stupid?"
      "Correct. We couldn't have the stupid leading the stupid."
      "And these people would be educated in these camps?"
      "If they show potential. You'd have different categories. You'd have the situationally stupid, those that could benefit from a short period of educational training, passing the test the next time it came around. Then you'd have the acutely stupid, those that have a relatively large hole in their education, but are otherwise intelligent in innate potential, and for whom a span of several years would correct. Then there would be the chronically stupid, those for which there is no hope. Time and energy would not be wasted on these.
      "I see it would run by improvement from test to test. Everyone would be sent to classes for the first period. If they pass the test, they go free. If they show improvement, but don't pass, they'd go back to class. If they show no improvement, classes would cease for them, considered a
      waste of time and money. Naturally, those that improve would be working on assignments part of the time."
      "And the money they earn would pay for the program?"
      "For the most part. Naturally, some of it would come from the tax base, but then the tax base would be relieved of all the programs designed to help the stupid now, so it shouldn't cost more than it does now. In fact, it would probably show a decrease in public expenditures."
      "Now that would be popular. A deficit reduction plan."
      "Exactly, and it would be one more factor in the whole thing being accepted by the intelligent public at large, adding justification."
      "So how long do you think this would take to become a law? Twenty years?"
      "Probably less than that. From all the factors that I see, it would probably come in less than five."
      "But who is to say what is stupid?"
      "Now there's the rub. Mark Twain once stated that man's intelligence depended upon where he was standing. Now this is less so in these days of electronic media, and this is why TV will play such an important role. Naturally there will be a fight over the tests, with each click wanting prominence in the say over the test's content. But in the end, it will probably come down to what you see on television, and thus will come down to the decisions of program directors for the networks. It's the one thing to which we all have equal access."
      "So the smart people should start watching more TV? What a ghastly thought. I guess that shoots holes in those pushing for literacy through reading."
      "Not fully. Naturally there would be a literacy section that would
      cover enough of the test to flunk out the illiterates. Spelling, grammar, reading comprehension, at least a high school level to pass that section. There would also be math, geography, music theory, political science, and other school taught knowledge. In fact, a high school diploma would probably be prerequisite to even take the test. This would be a great incentive in reducing the school drop out rate, an act generally viewed as a stupid thing to do. Drop out of school and go directly to the education centers. Most people now considering dropping out would finish, and it would send those that have already dropped out rushing to get their GED."
      "But naturally there would be questions on the test that exceed the high school level."
      "Oh, yes. But it would have to be in general terms. You see, the purpose of high school is to give a general knowledge. The purpose of college is to give specific courses of instruction for specialization. You can't expect everyone to specialize in everything. It's impossible in today's world. There is too much knowledge for one mind to hold. But the test would have advanced general knowledge found in base required courses for graduation. As in grades, there would be levels above passing to indicate status. What a person scored on his or her last test would be a badge of prestige to wave at those with lower scores."
      "But wouldn't that bite into the economic order of prestige?"
      "As in, 'If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?' That would still hold. It would become a dualistic system. It would cease becoming a battle between the rich and poor, and become instead the rich and intelligent."
      "It sounds like this country will become a lousy place to live."
      "If you are stupid, it will be. If you are stupid, it already is. But it will make things more convenient. Violence will be reduced, and
      gangs and mobs will be slashed in strength, since their stupid members would be in camps. And it would be easier to send someone in camp to jail for rebellious activity."
      "Sounds like a bonanza for the lawyers."
      "Definitely. I'm sure that most would rejoice at the idea. You wouldn't find many lawyers willing to go after the new laws, since it would make them an outcast in their profession. Outcast lawyers win very few trials, since the judges frown upon them. And stupid people would not be considered for jury duty. It would be an automatic dismissal if the person hadn't passed their most recent test, if somehow they should slip through the cracks in the first place to be called."
      "Only the stupid rights groups would contest?"
      "Correct. And they wouldn't be welcomed warmly, much as civil liberty groups are treated today. They would be just another extension of them. I guarantee that it will be a circus, but the outcome will be the same as if there were no contest. Popular will is just too strong against stupidity interfering with life."
      "You better watch out, you better be cool, cause they're rounding up all the fools. The stupid laws are coming to town. They're making a list, adding a chart, they're gonna find out who stupid and smart. The stupid laws are coming to town. They know when your brain's sleeping, they know your least mistake. They'll bring to court the evidence, miles and miles of video tape. Oh!"
      "Very clever again."
      "Well, I don't suppose that we will be candidates for the camps."
      "No, not likely, as long as we keep our noses clean. You see, this is very convenient. If there isn't enough evidence to convict someone of a
      crime, they can always pick them up for doing something stupid. It will make it much easier for the police to remove someone from circulation until the next test comes around."
      "Look smart, act smart, be smart."
      "Exactly. Oh, dear me. Look at the time. I have to be going. But think about what I said. Best get yourself ready for the things to come. Think of all the stupid things that you've done in the past, and make sure that you don't repeat them. If there are people with grudges against you, you had best make peace with them. Step lightly."
      "And watch more TV."
      "Yes."